My wife and I stepped into the hotel lift, just behind two women, one with a buggy. It was a bit of a tight fit and all exchanged glances except the Mum who looked asleep on her feet.
From under a bonny pink bonnet, a cold pair of blue eyes surveyed me. Silently the mechanisms of a tiny brain turned and carried out complex calculations, estimations and evaluations. Based on current incomplete data the brain had to calculate whether the male standing within her personal space presented a credible threat to her safety.
In a nanosecond she decided, on the balance of probability, given her past experience, based on ten months on the planet Earth, outside the womb, no, he did not. She relaxed a little and took a comforting suck on her “doodie” that rested in her mouth, her lips tightly wrapped around it.
Then I caught her eye and we stared directly at each other.
I have a way with kids. Not sure why. Maybe it’s because I am just a grown-up kid myself. I’d just spent the previous day playing with three grandchildren and the afternoon had gone well. Adults would always say “Isn’t he great with the kids?” to my wife and I’d smile, embarrassed by the praise. But it was true. I just “get it” with kids.
I smiled, reassuringly at the silent bundle in the buggy and that’s when it all kicked off.
“DEFCON 1”…. “DEFCON 1”….. “DEFCON 1”
Alarm bells were going off in little “blue eyes” brain.
“DEFCON 1”…. “DEFCON 1”….. “DEFCON 1”
A threat had been detected.
The “doodie” fell to the floor as the mouth opened and an ear-piercing scream was emitted, swiftly followed by another and another.
Simultaneously the eyes welled up. The tear ducts opened and her face became a river of fast-flowing clear liquid. Water flowed past her open mouth, itself a great expanse of pink gums.
Mum, shocked into reality, leaned down and sought to comfort “blue eyes” but she was having none of it. Mum looked quizzically at me. I smiled weakly back and shuffled my feet. Eventually, it all became too much and I turned my back to the commotion, examining the plain silver metal wall of the lift and admiring the craftsmanship of the lift engineer, until mercifully the ding was sounded and the doors slid open.
I let all the others depart before I stepped out of the lift and onto the mezzanine floor. Yeah, I have a way with kids alright. Just not all kids.
Life the world and everything 